


the fast times, the bright lights, the merry go

by doomedog



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Based on a Taylor Swift Song, Coney Island, M/M, al is falling out of love and race is a mess, anyway this be angsty, i am a mess writing this, i wrote this at 2 am in one sitting, so bare with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:15:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28021521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomedog/pseuds/doomedog
Summary: Race imagined a mall before the internet. It was the only place every memory and feeling would come to stay, crowded and full of joy. Before Albert ran out and the series of feelings trailed behind him.Albie, where did you go?
Relationships: Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	the fast times, the bright lights, the merry go

**Author's Note:**

> can you believe i fucking wrote an ralbert fic in one sitting? and it's angst? my months old varigo wips are yelling at me smh-  
> anyway, i bend some meanings a lil to fit into this fic so it's not entirely 100% based on the song. soo...enjoy!!

"That was nice, don't you think?" Race smiled and hopped to the nearest bench to sit after what feels like a thousand years of walking while Albert was busy munching on his chips, smiling along but his eyes were everywhere. They used to be looking at Race, and only Race. There would be a fucking tsunami shoved into his face and he would look at Race. Not now, not anymore. Race sighed, forcing another smile as his boyfriend took a seat next to him, then he pulled a cigarette from his pocket and lit it up. Looked over at Albert who's gazing half-blankly at the various rides, he can feel him processing the noises of children laughing and adults talking as the teenagers gush and run chaotically.

Albert loved Coney Island, he loved if Race was there with him. It felt nostalgic, like the day Race's mom took them to this place for the first time. They just knew each other for two weeks that time, they were six, it was memorable. Now, the nostalgia was still there, along with a sting. A sting Race would never thought would appear the day he leaned into Albert's sudden kiss three years ago.

"Yeah, that was nice. Thanks for bringing me here again," the redhead smiled fondly. _You know, like a liar,_ Race chuckled bitterly in his mind. Because deep down, Race knew. He knew the nostalgia of their childhood's not even there anymore, he wasn't here anymore. Albert was somewhere in a place Race couldn't reach, somehow. He spent his whole life feeling the same thing as Albert, being each other's halves and now? The strongest string was loosened on the other side. He couldn't relate to Albert anymore, he can feel it. _It wasn't there no more, right Albie?_

Then Albert reached for his hands, Race couldn't help but winced. His palm was stiff and the silence was no longer comfortable, it was nauseating. Like he just rode a roller coaster of Albert's feelings when his head hurts from figuring out his mistakes. It really is like that. So he laid his head on Albert's shoulder, consuming the no longer familiar warmth until it eventually got colder, and colder...

_Albie, where did you go?_

Did he cause all of this? _Well, probably,_ he thought. Race was so overwhelmed by the new project he got that he got busier than ever, he even went out of town for a few weeks. Probably his tiredness has been shitting him into pushing Albert's patience to the edge. Well, _probably_. And, you see, last week was Al's birthday. Everyone gathered in Jack's apartment yelling appreciations as he blew the candles while Race was breaking himself in the studio making choreography. He met him the next day, in the morning light of Al's dorm hallway, he muttered apologize and Al brushed it off. Like it wasn't a big deal. _Like he didn't even want me to be there._

_Albie, did I break you first then you ran out from my mess for the better?_ Because if that's the case, then he'll let him leave. But then, _why_. They have been with each other since they barely can count, he knew Albert would still be with him, standing next to him with a bright smile and loving kisses, telling Race he could do this. And if he wanted to leave he can just say so...can't he?

"Watch'a thinking, Racer?" Albert asked, made a shiver run down Race's spine. What he was thinking about, huh?

Well, he thought about them. Being a naive little eleven years old running around this park, running from Albert's brother holding each other's hand. He thought about the time he realized he fell in love, they were fifteen, Albert was singing First Day of My Life with his guitar at the beach, that time Race wished he didn't die before he had Al. He also thought about 11th grade, when Albert kissed him in the middle of merry go round, Race almost fell off his unicorn but he never wanted it to stop. He then thought about the time he got hit by a car right in front of the exit of Luna Park, he remembered hearing him screamed and saw his panicked face before he dozed off, that was last year.

He thought about Albert and everything they held together. Their tied strings, their big dreams, how every touch, kisses, and words beams, it was the only place every memory and feeling would come to stay, crowded and full of joy . Race imagined it was like a mall before the internet. It's the only place every memory and feeling would come and go but came back again, it was crowded and full of joy. Before Albert ran out and the series of feelings trailed behind him.

_Isn't it too fast to feel that way, Albie? I thought we had our whole life._

"You," Race answered. Because it was true, it was Albert Albert Albert that cried inside his head, and it felt like not enough. The redhead chuckled, pulled Race's chin and kissed him. _Even your kiss is hesitant, Al. And it gets colder, and colder…_

"I love you," Albert said as he pulled away, his gaze scattered to the side of Race's face, not his blue eyes, _not anymore_. Race almost winced when he heard those words. It felt empty, like Coney Island was an abandoned post-apocalyptic ruin instead of a cheerful memory of two children running around sharing cotton candy. Race stared at Albert's eyes with both hope and hopelessness as the sun settled down, coloring his features with shades of oranges and pinks while his emotions remained faded blue.

_Is this my fault, Albie? I'm sorry if it is. Please don't go, please don't leave Coney alone with me._

"I love you more, Albie," He did, he loved Albert more than Albert can imagine, more than Albert could ever be. "Let's head home, yeah? It's gettin' dark," He offered and Albert nodded, standing up with a half-blank stare and walked a couple steps ahead of his boyfriend. Race trailed shortly behind, watching Albert's back as if it left a stab wound inside his chest. _Well, actually, it did_.

_Albie, why did you run out of love with me? where did you go  
_

**Author's Note:**

> ...so there you go. how's al feeling, actually? i guess we never know. anyway i hope you like it bcs i still can't believe i wrote a whole ralbert fic. im sorry if this sucks bcs, well, my brain is wacky. but i'm just pretty proud of myself for actually finished a fic. thank you so much for reading btw!! and stream evermore for clear skin! (the songs are literal golds let me tell you)


End file.
